Penis Theft Panic!

OK, really, this is just an excuse to reference this awesome headline:

Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital

I mean, phenomenal. But there is one other awesome part, wherein these penises (penii?) are being "snatched" via black magic, leading Kinshasa's police chief to say:

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke[...b]ut when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it?'"

Uh, yah, they "became" tiny. Sure they did. Funny how that happens.

Not so funny -- they had to arrest alleged sorcerers along side alleged victims to skip the result "seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs."

OK, actually, that's still funny. I mean, everybody's got to go one way or another, and being beaten to death by a mob for being a penis snatcher has a certain élan to it, don't you think?