Quote of the Day

One of the best parts about presidential campaigns is dredging up all the ridiculous frightening shit the candidates said a decade ago and throwing it back in their faces now. For example, I Hate Huckabee, back in 1998 at a Souther Baptist pastors' convention:

"I didn't get into politics because I thought government had a better answer. I got into politics because I knew government didn't have the real answers, that the real answers lie in accepting Jesus Christ into our lives."

Very reassuring. Government is wrong, only Jesus is right. Sounds like a guy just dedicated to freedom of religion.

And why is there so much government? He'll tell you:

"The reason we have so much government is because we have so much broken humanity. And the reason we have so much broken humanity is because sin reigns in the hearts and lives of human beings instead of the Savior."

It's funny cause it sounds like he's saying sin should reign in the heart and life of the Savior, in which case the story would have had a whole different ending. Christ Gone Wild!

Also, it's funny because it is fucking terrifying.

Ron Paul Blimp

Are you a big fan of Ron Paul? Do you have a million dollars? Then you can sponsor the Ron Paul blimp for ten whole weeks! I am not making this up. It's been successfully launched and is flying "to the inauguration!" (They do not specify whose inauguration.)




Wondering where the blimp is now? No need to wonder! Handy GPS device + Google maps will answer your query in real time! Still not making this up.

Wicked Smart Chimps

So apparently chimps have photographic short term memories? Researchers at Kyoto University taught these chimps the numbers 1-9 (or at least what they look like and what order they go in), flashed numbers on a screen, then had them play Memory by hitting the covered-up boxes in the right order of the numbers that used to be there. Like, instantaneously.

Check it out:

Romney For President of Godville

"Freedom requires religion just as religion requires freedom. Freedom opens the windows of the soul so that man can discover his most profound beliefs and commune with God. Freedom and religion endure together, or perish alone."

Oh, and not "the religion of secularism" -- that's not a real religion. As he points out:

"But in recent years, the notion of the separation of church and state has been taken by some well beyond its original meaning. They seek to remove from the public domain any acknowledgment of God. Religion is seen as merely a private affair with no place in public life. It is as if they are intent on establishing a new religion in America – the religion of secularism. They are wrong."

I'm not quite sure who "they" are, but yes, it would be quite wrong to establish any religion in the public spaces of America. Including the religion of secularism, whatever that means. Not having the Ten Commandments in a courthouse is not the same thing as having a Christopher Hitchens-penned missive about how there is no god. I don't want have either one, no matter how caught up in my secular religious fever I might be.

I mean, I know the guy belongs to a cult that is stealing away good Christians from Jesus so he has to do everything he can to get the religionistas on his side, but seriously are you motherfucking kidding me?

Civics Lessons

So, you have to be registered as a member of a political party in order to vote in one of their primaries in most states, that I get. However that registration doesn't compel you to vote for their nominee in the general election, which is clearly untenable when you have a bunch of totally unelectable candidates who might actually end up the nominee. And it doesn't apply in Virginia. So, if you're the Virginia Republican Party, where anybody can vote in any primary regardless of party affiliation and you think that's just untenable, you go ahead and make people SIGN AN OATH that they will vote for the nominee, whomever it may be, before you'll let them vote in the Republican primary. Unenforceable? Of course. Still not so much in keeping with the American Way? I'd say so.

Also, I bet you didn't know how committed to the truth honorable Virginians are (unlike Brett, the most dishonorable Virginian I know) -- the Roanoke Times awesomely points out that

Honorable Virginians do not give their word lightly and will not lie, even under these obtuse circumstances. We hope, too, that they put candidates' ideas, character and experience ahead of party affiliation.

I love the word obtuse.

Speaking of

Mike Gravel, that dude is totally awesome. And so is this, which he participated in, cause that's what presidential candidates do:




Seriously, wouldn't Hillary have been great in this?

Amnesty

Thanks for coming to the writeathon last night everybody! Oh right, you didn't. Oh well -- in the meantime, check out these very arresting new ads about genital mutilation (everybody's favorite Friday topic):




And how come people keep calling it female circumcision? I think lopping off the foreskin is a little weird too, but it's still not particularly analogous to cutting off everything that sticks out and sewing a girl up shut when she hits puberty and is totally conscious and screaming and all. Plus, circum means circle -- there ain't no circle you're cutting off with the ladies. More of a teardrop with a couple dots, or something.

Lachrymiformcision?

Whatever.