Bristol Palin's baby daddy

Just for the record, I think that dragging children into presidential campaigns is absolutely wrong, not because of some moral abstraction regarding the sanctity of your kids, but just because it's rather pointless. I mean my parents are atrocious at being parents and have the totally fucked up kids to prove it, but are excellent at things like running large companies and getting people to like them, and would make great vice presidents. In fact, McCain really ought to have picked my dad, they see eye to eye on a whole truckload.

But, the New York Post (aka "the rag of record") does not share my compunction, and has reproduced in part the MySpace page of one Levi Johnston:

On his MySpace page, Johnston boasts, "I'm a f - - -in' redneck" who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes.
"But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some s- - - and just f - - -in' chillin' I guess."
"Ya f - - - with me I'll kick [your] ass," he added.
He also claims to be "in a relationship," but states, "I don't want kids."

I mean that's just great. "'Ya f - - - with me I'll kick [your] ass,' he added" is a sentence that needs to be used far more often in newspapers. I mean "newspapers".

Confidential to Fox News: please note that my usage of the term "baby [parent]" is not entirely correct as Bristol and Levi are reportedly still involved and plan to wed, but it is an improvement over using it to refer to one's actual current spouse. Thank you.

Film on YouTube

One of the common criticisms about this whole Web 2.0 user-generated content whatnot is that there is so much crap generated by the unwashed masses that no one will be able to tell what is good or not. Leaving aside the fact that there are plenty of stars forged in the fires of YouTube (many currently featured in that Weezer video), there is also the point that YouTube is simply a distribution channel, albeit one with very few obstacles to entry.

So if you'd made a film about exactly how staggeringly incompetent US decisions made after the fall of Baghdad contributed in no small part to this seething quagmire of a civil war called Iraq we've got going on now, and you'd seen the other fifteen excellent recent movies about Iraq crash and burn in brick-and-mortar theaters (even the crappy ones with tons of famous people failed, and I am pretty sure that Brett is the only person not specifically involved with the making of the film "Grace Is Gone" nor at Sundance 2007 to have seen it), maybe you would realize that getting as many people to see your documentary as possible is what you were going for all along. (Also, its run on YouTube just happens to end on November 5th, which sounds kinda close to some other date that is familiar for some reason.)

So maybe Magnolia Pictures that bought your critically acclaimed movie (Washington Post's number 1 film of 2007!) and planned to distribute it, but so far had only managed to put it in 2 theaters and release the DVD, thought: why not put the fucker up on YouTube so people can see it for free with no ads in the film, and just have a banner ad up top that (presumably) represents some sort of sponsorship from Netflix and Amazon so we can actually recoup some of our expenses?

I think it's a brilliant plan, that I hope more films released by actual studios could follow. A lot of talk has gone 'round about the demise of the major studio indie division, but really, what does it cost you to put something on YouTube? Work out a deal with Netflix, include their ad on your page, and accomplish the goals of 1) having people see the movie and 2) making money off the movie with little to no effort whatsoever. Why is that hard? Like, if this absolutely ridiculous animated baby rap piece of shit advertising some bullshit online cute baby contest can get almost seven hundred thousand views (!), maybe a picture about a war that has dramatically affected the lives of millions and millions of people could get a handful of hits.

Actually, I just scanned some of the comments, and never mind. Back to DVDs, never to be seen by anyone, you brilliant relevant filmmakers you!

forkinass4 says:
why is this video an hour long? WTF MAN!! That aint right! (votes zero)

RNC

In the spirit of the Republicans taking a day off their convention to go make sure Hurricane Gustav didn't entirely obliterate their chances this November, I will also take a break from mentioning anything about the specific fourth dimensional aspects of exactly how much Bush cares about black people [Hint: not determined solely by when hurricanes are about to hit] and simply inquire: What the fuck is Cindy McCain wearing?





Is it, like, the color of the silty, flooding Mississippi? With a collar that can be used as a flotation device?